As the year passes

The last day of 2024 — somehow it doesn’t quite feel like the end of the year. Maybe it’s because I just came back from somewhere warm. It feels like the year only just started, yet here we are at the very end.

Courage

Did I grow? That question is still a hard one. It might be easier to think of it as the diff between this year and last.
This was a year where I tried to be a little braver.

I tend to overthink choices, hesitate, and by the time I’ve finished deliberating, the moment has passed.
Sometimes that manifests as caution, but other times it’s fear in disguise. You could also call it laziness — or avoidance.
This year, I practiced letting go of some of that overthinking.

Things that helped

Changing your surroundings is really difficult. It’s not easy to shape them to your liking, either.
The easiest thing I can change is myself — and that’s what shapes who I am.

When it came to making decisions, those kinds of thoughts, along with the encouragement of people close to me, helped a great deal.

Things I acted on

(Since this is a dev blog, I’ll keep it career-focused.) One of the most pivotal moments of my year was traveling to the United States alone.
Earlier this year, I applied to React Conf without much expectation. I got in, agonized over it for two days, then decided to go.
What I actually did there: wandered around Silicon Valley on my own, and attended React Conf.

React Conf 2024 하루 전 | 장용석 블로그

샌프란과 산호세에서의 일상을 먼저 적으려다가, 어느새 베가스 까지 오게 되었다. 본래 목적지였던 라스베이거스, React Conf 2024가 열리는 곳이다. 3년만에 열리는 것이라 그런지 참석자들이 많다. 공항에서 리조트 까지는 거리가 꽤 있는지라 컨퍼런스 디스코드에서 같이 탈 사람을 구하기로 했다.

https://yongseok.me/blog/react-conf-2024-%ED%95%98%EB%A3%A8%EC%A0%84

I didn’t do anything extraordinary there, but leaving a comfortable life behind to spend two weeks on my own was a significant change in itself.
In some ways, going alone may have made it even more meaningful.

I sat in the front row at conferences I’d only ever watched on YouTube, saw developers I’d only known through pull requests, and even mustered the courage to take selfies with them.
I had brief conversations and got to hear their stories.

Looking back now, I think the trip had such a big impact because it was full of moments I could have easily missed.
Every moment was a new experience, and they kept coming one after another — moments that would slip away if I hesitated. I had to make quick decisions on my own each time, and those moments left their mark.

Blog

After returning from React Conf, I wrote a four-part series on React Compiler and shared it around.
Since I was going to write them anyway, I used AI assistance to publish English versions as well.

React Compiler, How Does It Work? [4] - SSA Transformation (Theory and Implementation) | 장용석 블로그

Let

https://yongseok.me/blog/en/react_compiler_4/

Fortunately, many people read them, and they were featured in ThisWeekInReact and other newsletters.

Bytes #312 - WTF is e18e?

The battle of phantom leaks, CSS spring easing, and a more insane filesystem than usual.

https://bytes.dev/archives/312

It wasn’t exactly winning a literary award, but there was something deeply rewarding about writing from a small corner of the world and having developers across the globe read it — and for some of them, find it helpful.
The fourth article required referencing academic papers to explain the SSA approach, which was a nice way to quench an intellectual thirst I hadn’t satisfied in a while. There were moments when that article was cited on Twitter and helped someone else’s understanding.
I also received messages from developers in Korea. Some of them were words of gratitude, and others were encouragement for various challenges ahead.

When I look at this chain of events, small choices rippled outward like the butterfly effect and had a much larger impact than I’d expected.

Retrospectives

This year, at my girlfriend’s suggestion, I joined a weekly retrospective group. Starting from around mid-year, I’ve been writing weekly retrospectives.
Working at a company, there aren’t many chances to meet people from other fields — but with a small act of courage, I started talking with new people and, through our retrospectives, heard about their concerns and experiences.

We do weekly retrospectives within my team at work too, but doing personal retrospectives with complete strangers gave me a more objective lens to look back on each week.

Presentations

Whether it’s blog posts or presentations, conveying my thoughts in front of others is still difficult.
This year I gave a few small presentations. I happened to learn about JSConf Japan and boldly applied — but didn’t get in.

발표 | 장용석 블로그

No description available

https://yongseok.me/blog/%EB%B0%9C%ED%91%9C/

I was told the competition was fierce. I thought about at least attending, but various things came up and I couldn’t make it.

Languages

One thing I always wonder while writing code is: what does it feel like for native English speakers when they look at code? After all, it’s not just random strings of letters — it’s a sequence of actual words, so it must feel more like reading prose. The same goes for documentation, conferences, and so on — it must all feel more familiar, right?

Anyway, that ongoing curiosity meant I always had a thirst for learning languages. Last year, I studied Japanese while collaborating with a Japanese team. This year, while deciding which language to pick up, I chose Cantonese ahead of a trip to Hong Kong. (I think English is the most important, but I’m already exposed to it regularly, so…) I studied diligently for about two months, and in Hong Kong I was able to order an iced lemon tea (凍檸茶).

I made that choice to increase the resolution of my travels.
Whether it’s studying or coding, I need to raise my own resolution to become a better sponge — one that absorbs more.
In that sense, I believe consistent learning and curiosity matter a great deal.

Did I grow?

So, coming back to the question: did I grow?
Technically, the work I did this year didn’t present major challenges compared to last year. If anything, it was a year of steady, small tasks.
That was actually my biggest concern this year. In an organization called “Foundation Crew,” I spent the year filling gaps and polishing rough edges across different parts of the company.

Since I wasn’t responsible for a single product, I was far removed from long-term, deep work.

I believed that developing real depth requires staying in one place for a while, so that part was disappointing.
It probably came up often in my weekly retrospectives.
As I mentioned at the beginning — the world doesn’t rearrange itself for you. These kinds of situations can easily arise in any new organization.

I spent the year trying to answer the question: how do you grow in circumstances like these?
I still haven’t found the answer, but I’m feeling my way forward.
At the very least, I gained the experience and value of “feeling my way forward” and “distinguishing between what I can control and what I can’t.”

What to act on next

I still need more courage. Enough to see myself more objectively. No grand resolutions for 2025 — just keep building the strength to be brave in small challenges and choices.

A letter from o1